As I was dropping of a check to table that gave me no problems up to that point, the lady proceeds to officially lose her mind because she sees lipstick on the glass she was drinking out of. I sincerely apologized, even though I think it was her lipstick, but she would not have any of it.

She insisted that I bring out the dishwasher so she could show him the lipstick, and basically belittle him in front of the entire restaurant. I saw this as a crazy request, so I got my manager and she continued to argue saying that she wanted to see the dishwasher.

Eventually we coaxed her out with a couple free appetizer coupons, but as she was leaving she kept screaming that she worked for some “government institution”.  Needless to say, tip was awful.

BRIGHT SIDE: As another woman was leaving, she came up and gave me $10 and said, here you deserve this for how she treated you. Score!

Submitted by: Samantha from PA

I was waiting on a table of two that was sandwiched in between two other two-top tables, both of which were seated as well.  The table in the center ordered their meals, and opted to have salads instead of pasta or soup, so I put the order in.  Minutes later, I bring their salads out.  A few minutes into eating them, I inform the cook to begin preparing their meal as the timing seemed perfect.

I’ve been timing food perfectly for the three months I’ve worked at this restaurant and never had an issue.  The food comes out about 10 minutes later, and as I’m setting up a tray stand, I see both the man and woman still have about 1/4 of their salads left.  Oh well, slow eaters right?  Dinner rush, busy kitchen, etc.

I inform the customers their meal has arrived, and the woman slams her fork down, practically throws her salad plate off to the side of the table, and just gives me a look.  While placing the plates in front of each customer, I apologize for the timing being a little off.  The woman snubs me and makes snide remarks.

My others tables are now staring, and I felt the need to defend myself.  In a calm, polite way, I responded “madam, again, i am very sorry for the off timing on your entree.  I unfortunately have no control over how fast the food is cooked, but only when it begins preparation and how fast it gets to you”

She then snaps her head in my direction, and practically screams “EXCUSE ME?  DON’T TELL ME WHAT YOUR JOB IS, I KNOW WHAT IT IS.  YOUR JOB AS A WAITER IS TO MAKE SURE MY FOOD COMES OUT ON TIME, AND YOU HAVE FULL CONTROL OVER HOW FAST ALL THAT HAPPENS, ITS YOUR JOB.  SO DON’T TRY TO TELL ME”

Now standing there dumbfounded like a jackass, i realized my surrounding tables are all staring at me like I suck.  I didn’t say anything else, and walked away.  Needless to say, I received some poor tips shortly thereafter from her table, as well as the adjacent ones who I believe were acquaintances that happened to be seated nearby.

Submitted by: Jesse

So today I was working my second shift ever in the dining room, and I was doing my best work. My manager quickly comes up to me and whispers “You think you can handle the rush alone?” and with a cool “of course.” I get to work.

It is 1 hour into my 6 hour shift and I am keeping track of 8 tables, offering them refills, giving them mints, and cleaning up their sloppy messes. Suddenly an attractive family of 4 walks in, with 2 adults, a son in his early twenties (Older than I am) and a little girl.

They order their food and make their way to one of the nicest tables (freshly cleaned of course). They dig into they food, and suddenly I get called over by the father who nicely says “What is the situation with refills here?’ and hands me his cup, I take it out of his hand with a smile and reply “I am on it.”

After refilling his drink and giving the family their fair share of mints, I ask mid-meal “Is everything alright with your meal? Any problems?” and they ALL reply no, even the eldest son, it ahs been all smiles, and they seem to be very impressed with my service.

As I am helping another table, the father pulls me over again and asks for a pen, and he even remembered my name. I am screaming with excitement inside, the ONLY reason you would need a pen is to write on one of the little suggestion cards on the table. I hand him the pen and he then gives it to his son, who starts scribbling away on one the little cards. I am so excited, they pack up and leave, leaving a significant mess, but whatever… before they are out the door he calls over one of the managers an hands her the card, once again, I was excited.

The next 4 hours I was thinking about what could be on the card, customers almost never write on them, so this is a big deal because the managers always put them on the corkboard for everyone to see, so it there is a big “Clayton was Amazing…” it would be amazing, I am proud to say that dining room was spotless the entire night.

My shift is finally over, and I am checking my hours when I spot the card sitting on her desk, we are NOT supposed to go in there, so I press my face against the window to read…

“I was not very happy with the temperature of the food, it was cold and soggy and I was disappointed that no one was available to assist me…”

Now she is re-thinking me being ready for the dining room, back to garbage runs and restocking bathrooms for me…

I had a table of 2 redneck men the other day, as most of us all know these are the tables that usually drive you crazy. They both order steaks with steamed vegeatables and mushrooms on the steak. The meal gets to the table and one of the men yells for about 5 minutes about not getting a roll with his meal, apparently he has always gotten one every time he has eaten here.

Our restaurant does not have rolls and never has! The other man then complains that he did not get enough mushrooms on his steak! the mushrooms cost 99cents and there were actually more than usual on the steak, He yelled that he refused to pay for the mushrooms and 5 dollars was too much to pay for the mushrooms (which were 99cnts). 70 dollar bill and no tip.

Submitted by: TY

I was working the closing shift one evening, and about 5 minutes before close a couple walked in and requested a table. Of course this is a defeating blow to any server’s moral, but I figured I might as well make the best of it and make a few extra bucks.

They proceeded to order full meals, act quite rude and then sit around for an extra 45 minutes after their meal.

My reward was a $3 tip on a $40 check.

What a life.

Submitted by: Samantha from PA

So you’re in the middle of a busy shift trying to manage all of your tables. (and of course you’ve been double or even the dreaded… triple sat) You’re waiting on this couple who seem just amazed at your talent and ability to do your job. They thank you repeatedly and when you ask how the food is their response is “Spectacular”.

You think to yourself, “This is almost too easy!”. Then when all is said and done, they thank you again, tell you it’s the best service they’ve ever had, that they’ll definitely be back and they’ll request you when they do.

At this point you feel invincible, you’re on cloud nine. Then, with your head held up high, you pick up the check presenter with pride only to see that they’ve left you %10… Now you’re thinking “Great, they’ll be back.”

Submitted by: Carnoculus

The Toasted Oat Enemy

I always hated when I would be semi-busy and a family with several young children came in. This meant a few things:

1. Scrambling for a highchair.
2. Cleaning said highchair.
3. Preparing for a barrage of cereal on the floor.

There is something about cheerios especially that makes babies love to throw them all over the floor. Seems like parents are always totally unaware that it is happening too.

I’ve walked up to many tables that looked like a Cheerio A-Bomb went off with mass casualties. Of course what usually happens is, the party leaves, and none are picked up. So that means I’ve got to pull out the sweeper, and lose some precious dignity by crawling on the floor.

But of course they leave an extra tip for the additional cleaning involved, right? WRONG!

Submitted by: DJ from PA

Put down the Cosmo and pick up the Whiskey.

A real estate agent in our town, a really made up from the 80’s with big blonde hair and bright pink lipstick, with her face all around town, and her table of 3 other ladies were drinking cosmo’s and martini’s all night at the bar I work at.

A bar, not a restaurant, so bartenders already hate making those, but my bartender made them good in hopes that I’d get a good tip, otherwise he would’ve made them not as good so she wouldn’t order more. But, she decided to pick up the bill which was $103 and what was her tip? $5. Wtf. That’s not even 5%.

Submitted by: Crystal