As I was dropping of a check to table that gave me no problems up to that point, the lady proceeds to officially lose her mind because she sees lipstick on the glass she was drinking out of. I sincerely apologized, even though I think it was her lipstick, but she would not have any of it.

She insisted that I bring out the dishwasher so she could show him the lipstick, and basically belittle him in front of the entire restaurant. I saw this as a crazy request, so I got my manager and she continued to argue saying that she wanted to see the dishwasher.

Eventually we coaxed her out with a couple free appetizer coupons, but as she was leaving she kept screaming that she worked for some “government institution”.  Needless to say, tip was awful.

BRIGHT SIDE: As another woman was leaving, she came up and gave me $10 and said, here you deserve this for how she treated you. Score!

Submitted by: Samantha from PA

I’m a bartender in a quiet hotel lounge.  Most of our customers are businesspeople in for nightcaps or groups from one of our banquet facilities.  There’s this one customer though who comes in about 3 or 4 times a month, always at really slow times.  He proceeds to sit at the bar and drink and chat with me.

Since it’s impossible not to talk to someone at the bar without being extremely rude I make the best of it, but after a few drinks he invariably asks me “Would you like a kiss?”.  No, no I would not.  Not ever.

The first couple of months that he came in I kind of deflected the question by either pretending not to hear it or walking away.  Finally he caught me when there was no one else in the lounge and I absolutely had to have heard the question.  I was kind of fed up so I just look at him and say “No.” I don’t explain it to him and I just look at him steadily until he looks away.

What I really feel like saying is “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?  Hitting on a bartender 20 years younger than yourself you drunken fool?”, but I didn’t.  He still comes in but that’s the last time he’s asked me if I “want a kiss.”

Submitted by: Samantha

I was waiting on a table of two that was sandwiched in between two other two-top tables, both of which were seated as well.  The table in the center ordered their meals, and opted to have salads instead of pasta or soup, so I put the order in.  Minutes later, I bring their salads out.  A few minutes into eating them, I inform the cook to begin preparing their meal as the timing seemed perfect.

I’ve been timing food perfectly for the three months I’ve worked at this restaurant and never had an issue.  The food comes out about 10 minutes later, and as I’m setting up a tray stand, I see both the man and woman still have about 1/4 of their salads left.  Oh well, slow eaters right?  Dinner rush, busy kitchen, etc.

I inform the customers their meal has arrived, and the woman slams her fork down, practically throws her salad plate off to the side of the table, and just gives me a look.  While placing the plates in front of each customer, I apologize for the timing being a little off.  The woman snubs me and makes snide remarks.

My others tables are now staring, and I felt the need to defend myself.  In a calm, polite way, I responded “madam, again, i am very sorry for the off timing on your entree.  I unfortunately have no control over how fast the food is cooked, but only when it begins preparation and how fast it gets to you”

She then snaps her head in my direction, and practically screams “EXCUSE ME?  DON’T TELL ME WHAT YOUR JOB IS, I KNOW WHAT IT IS.  YOUR JOB AS A WAITER IS TO MAKE SURE MY FOOD COMES OUT ON TIME, AND YOU HAVE FULL CONTROL OVER HOW FAST ALL THAT HAPPENS, ITS YOUR JOB.  SO DON’T TRY TO TELL ME”

Now standing there dumbfounded like a jackass, i realized my surrounding tables are all staring at me like I suck.  I didn’t say anything else, and walked away.  Needless to say, I received some poor tips shortly thereafter from her table, as well as the adjacent ones who I believe were acquaintances that happened to be seated nearby.

Submitted by: Jesse

I had a table of 2 redneck men the other day, as most of us all know these are the tables that usually drive you crazy. They both order steaks with steamed vegeatables and mushrooms on the steak. The meal gets to the table and one of the men yells for about 5 minutes about not getting a roll with his meal, apparently he has always gotten one every time he has eaten here.

Our restaurant does not have rolls and never has! The other man then complains that he did not get enough mushrooms on his steak! the mushrooms cost 99cents and there were actually more than usual on the steak, He yelled that he refused to pay for the mushrooms and 5 dollars was too much to pay for the mushrooms (which were 99cnts). 70 dollar bill and no tip.

Submitted by: TY

I was working the closing shift one evening, and about 5 minutes before close a couple walked in and requested a table. Of course this is a defeating blow to any server’s moral, but I figured I might as well make the best of it and make a few extra bucks.

They proceeded to order full meals, act quite rude and then sit around for an extra 45 minutes after their meal.

My reward was a $3 tip on a $40 check.

What a life.

Submitted by: Samantha from PA

It was my first week of working at a new restaurant, even though I’ve been in the industry for five years. I was walking behind another server and carrying about ten drinks on a tray. The server I’m walking behind (also our bartender that day) stops abruptly, I step back so as not to run into him, and ONE of the lemonades I was carrying tipped over.

Didn’t drop the glass, only spilled on myself and the tray, blah blah. The guest at the table next to me – about 45, business man, suit and tie, grey hair – proceeds to JUMP UP from his table and start GRABBING AT MY CHEST. No napkins, no nothing. Just saying, “Here, honey, let me help you with that!” While I’m telling him, “No thanks, I’ve got it, I’m fine.”

I go drop the drinks off at my table and pass his table again on the way back to the bar. He and his friends are laughing. The best part? The bartender was doubled over at the bar, laughing too hard to say anything except “That guy totally almost got to third base with you!”

God I hate people.